Let Go of Relationships That's Pulling You Down

It’s not always easy but a relationship can take a lot of work. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you find yourself in a relationship that is pulling you down instead of having a positive affect on you.

Whether it is with your friend, your neighbor, a family member or your lover there is no reason to stay in a relationship that is constantly pulling you down. So how do you get out of that type of relationship? When you find yourself in that type of relationship you also find yourself stressed to the max and unable to break away.

Sometimes there are people who weigh you down with their problems. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with confiding in a friend when you have a problem. But unfortunately sometimes their problems can consume you so you need to find a way that you can back out of that relationship gracefully and without hurting someone’s feelings. You already have several friends that you get along with. You probably talk all the time about your problems but then you laugh it off and go on. Then there are the friends that constantly have a negative outlook on everything. All they can think about is their problem and what they can do. They turn to you for advice but they don’t listen to it. Then when you are out they tell anyone who stops to ask them how they are doing about their problem. They do not listen to any advice but they still wallow in their problem. You feel really bad for their situation and you want to help.

If you find yourself feeling drained after spending an afternoon with them or sad and depressed every time you are around them, it may not be healthy for you to stay in that relationship or friendship. You need to pull back but you don’t know how. You are more worried about hurting their feelings then hurting yourself. You are truly a good person but you need to back out before you become depressed. Being around someone who is negative all the time will have its toll on you as well. Here are some ways to carefully back out of a relationship that is negative.

• Don’t hide from the person by not answering your phone or the door when they arrive. They are just going to keep after you until you answer them. They may even become more hurt by the fact that you are obviously dodging them.


• Take an afternoon and invite them over for dinner or lunch. Tell them that you are going to pull back on the relationship because you are feeling negative and you don’t like to feel that way. You still want to spend time together but not as often. At first they may be sad but in the end they will appreciate your honesty.


• Keep in touch by calling them once a week or sending them a card in the mail. Text them a message to let them know that you are thinking of them once a week at least. Plan on spending an hour talking to them when you get the chance so they won’t feel like you left them.